33 key lessons I’ve learned. Definitely not everything but some of the best ones and most applicable to others.
🔑 Honest Confrontation Beats Dishonest Harmony
Avoidance of taking action is often to avoid feedback from reality. To avoid showing up, the ‘honest confrontation’ with reality is to seek upkeep of a dishonest harmony. Making that first video, talking to someone new, putting yourself out there will give feedback of where you stand. This feedback is strategy to grow not a gage of self worth
🔑 Feedback only determines strategy not self worth
The way you behave can change, the results you get can change, your thoughts come and go. Anything that comes and goes and changes isn’t you. The only constant, the real ‘You’ is the observer of it all. Therefore feedback from reality determines strategy not self worth
🔑 Bullseye Mode
Make new social media accounts (Instagram, Twitter, YouTube). If I am building a finance company these my new social media accounts only follow about 4-10 finance pages. Not high stimuli or motivation pages. When your work for the day is done then you’re allowed to switch back to your personal accounts. Great for staying focused in the train of thought of your niche, you’ll want to check social media less and won’t get distracted or put into a totally different train of thought.
🔑 The Personal is the Universal
We try to put on a totally figured out vibe. Being vague and general trying to appeal to everybody. But there is no such person of ‘everybody’. Trying to relate to everybody you relate to nobody. The authentic things you want to say resonate with actual people like you, not the artificial avatar of ‘everybody’.
🔑 Be the Change You Want to See in the World
My business wins all have this in common. Making the products I need and want for myself. I write the things I need for myself. I create the products I need for myself. Taking what’s already available and innovating it. Instead of complaining about a product you need not being good enough create that product and those who feel the same, people like you will also desire it. My most fulfilling and most profitable ventures come from making the thing I needed/wanted for myself. My failures came from trying to follow a method to make something I thought everyone would like.
If you want others to love you love yourself. If you want to inspire others inspire yourself. If you want to help others help yourself. Change through forced articulation is no match for inspiring change. Being a beacon of light others wish to follow the lead of, not shining a flashlight on the flaws of other people, other products and complaining.
🔑 This Moment Contains All Moments
Who you are today is the sum of all the tiny decisions made in the past. Who you will be tomorrow, in 1 year, 5 years is the sum of the decisions you make each day, each moment. The present moment is a gift. Within each moment is all moments. The future is being written now, the past is being experienced now. We flip the script when we base our decisions on the future. Acting parallel to who we will become. Not the past, acting parallel to who we were. One is growing forward, the other is decaying backwards.
🔑 With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
Responsibility = ‘the ability to respond’. Responding is making optimal conscious decisions. Irresponsible = not having the ability to respond. This means to be reactive. Not making decisions based on the reality, the truth, the data right in front of you. But RE-ACTING, Re-playing, re-doing a past decision and bringing it into the present moment. Wield your ability to respond and witness how many opportunities appear and work in your favor.
🔑 The Obstacle is the Way
The thing you feel resistance towards is the thing to do. You set a goal, you get excited. Then you find feelings of resistance when it comes to taking action. This is the sign it’s just outside of your current comfort zone. It’s a sign that you’re on the edge of possibility from your old reality and it will take a jump to enter the next level.
You get a feeling of inspiration to do something and the feeling of resistance is how the universe tests if you’re a worthy host to bring this creation to life. It’s a test to see if you really want it, it’s a test to see if you’ll take the jump. As we mention in the collective higher intelligence posts. If you don’t take action on the inspiration the universe assign it to the runner up behind you and they will bring your ideas to the world instead.
🔑 Focus on Whats in Front of You
- “Worry does not rid tomorrow of it’s sorry it only robs today of it’s strength”
- “Worry is like paying debt you do not owe”
Worrying about chapter 10 won’t help me while i’m writing chapter 3. Worrying about step 10 while you’re on step 2 robs your focus of being fully engaged with step 2. You can’t navigate the waters of chapter 10 until you’re ship is in the waters of chapter 10. Assumptions, illusions, and delusions come from worrying about solving the puzzle before you even open the box of pieces. To focus on and engage with exactly what’s in front of you allows for a flow state and your best work
🔑 Schedules are liberation not limitation
I took pride in being the ‘reckless artist’ who could wing everything and get results. But schedules are the ultimate liberation. I’d waste all of my energy figuring out what to do, when to do it, if this the highest ROI thing. Making these decisions on the fly, by the time I would show up my willpower, creativity, and energy would be 40% because I wasted it on making decisions. Schedules stop the arguments of “should I be doing something else?”, “is this the best thing to be doing?”, “should I do it now or then”.
When there are no arguments you reside in peace. Your creativity and energy does not leak all over the place being wasted. Freedom from the slavery of acting on impulses to allow your creations to come to life.
🔑 Fortune Favors The Bold
- Your Faith is Your Fortune
- Your Fears are Your Misfortune
🔑 The 40% Rule – Life’s Gamble
Pull the trigger at 40% certainty. As we mentioned in ‘focus on whats in front of you’. You can’t see the waters of chapter 10 until the ship is in the waters of chapter 10. Our GPS/Google generation has the delusion that we can get 100% certainty. It’s not possible. Pull the trigger at 40% certainty. Move forward with the confidence and bravado of 100% certainty. Eliminate timidity and cowardliness out of your actions. Trust that your awareness and common sense will guide the missile. Awareness is your heat seeking capability. It will adjust on the fly while in flight to hit the target. Timidity and cowardliness is a glitch in the heat seeking software which throws you off course for irrational reasons. Pull the trigger, fire the missile. The missile won’t course correct to hit the target until it’s in flight. You can get anymore certainty until reality gives you initial feedback of the target.
🔑 Agony Adaptability Principal
The mind has a hard time understand that it will adapt. The first 2 weeks of eating healthy will feel ‘wrong’. First 2 weeks at the gym will be hard. First 2 weeks of making content or contacting clients for your business will be hard. But the body adapts and your strategies get better. The ‘agony’ is temporary. Remember this to help push through the first 2 weeks of doing something new.
🔑 To be Immune to Criticism One Must Be Immune to Praise
We still engage with praise. We can engage with constructive criticism. But engaging is not attaching with. You can dance with someone on a night out without going home with them, without marrying them. Our thoughts our the same.
Criticism and Praise do not shake us off our path, do not move us off center. Attach to the validation of praise and you will soon find yourself replacing achievement with looking like you’re achieving on social media to get the validation with minimal effort. Our DNA is wired to exert minimal effort. Attach to the praise and you also will attach to the criticism and be effected by it. Because that is to attach to the external. Both are external
“Success does not define the individual the individual defines success”
🔑 The Man in the Room Who Cares the Least is Winning the Most
So many people misinterpret ‘not giving a fuck’ with being a lazy bum and not putting in effort. Caring the least refers to being obsessed with the outcome. Still engaging in whats going on, still being your best, still having goals and desires but not attached to the outcome or how you look. Imagine a guy with 40 clients going to meet with potential client 41. How chill and ‘not caring’ is he going to be. Still doing a solid pitch but not doing cartwheels to impress the client.
Imagine a guy seeing 3-4 girls, having hobbies, a exciting business, and cool friends. How much would he ‘care’ in meeting a new girl or new friend versus a guy with no friends, no hobbies, who hasn’t dated in a year. Not caring about what people think of you, not trying to force a result and being light & carefree is the ultimate sign of somebody who already ‘has’. A sign of a man living in abundance, not lack.
🔑 “It’s only after we’ve lost everything we’re free to do anything”
This is not to be misinterpreted in losing the physical things. But imagine a backpack weighing 150 pounds. These are doubts, fears, traumas, assumptions, judgement and baggage that stop you from being able to do what you want. ‘Losing everything’ is losing the baggage.
🔑 Time is Money. Money is Time
Option A) Work for a year to build a brand to 100k followers. Option B) Get a part time job. Then after 2-3 months use that money to buy a page with 100k followers. Then keep working the job to fund ad-spend, pay virtual assistants, and pay to consult with some experts on the phone. Sometimes the best way to bring our creations and passions to life is to loosen the grip and do less. In a relationship sometimes the best thing to do is let go of the suffocation not double down trying harder to force it to work. Sweat Equity is energy, Money is energy. Sometimes the highest ROI use of your sweat equity is to get money to fuel the passion and ignite it quicker.
🔑 Trust The Process
Don’t trust your thoughts. When you want to move to the next level, a higher reality. Your current thoughts are what got you and will keep you in your current reality. So naturally they will be wrong and give false advice for getting to the next level. Trust the process not your thoughts. Write down your pre-planned response. Aka your to-do list, not to do list. Don’t wing it and hold it in your head.
🔑 Don’t Reinvent the Wheel
You don’t need to make everything from scratch. You can buy a fitness program for $20 or find one for free online and follow that process. You don’t have to invent something new from scratch to start a business. Take what’s already working and make it a better offer/product. Innovation comes from expertise, as a beginner you don’t want to be inventing but improving and implementing proven processes.
🔑 Steal Like an Artist
Art is not spawned from thin air. There are often inspirations that inspire the creation. A bad artist flat out copies and adds nothing to the work. In-fact their version is worse. Like these dollar deal versions of Gary Vaynerchuk we see on social media.
A good artist improves on and adds new flavor to a handful of works mixed together. Where they get their inspiration from is usually clear but it’s their own version. The great artist innovates. Taking inspiration from so many sources, doing things in different ways, by the time the great artist puts out the creation the sources of inspiration are incredibly difficult to trace and it appears as an entirely new piece of work. This is a skillset developed as a creator which comes from experience
🔑 Wisdom Comes From Experience
Anyone can access data, information, and knowledge. But the ability to string the stars together into a constellation of insight and wisdom comes from experience. Experience in navigating data, information, and knowledge. Connecting the dots into practical application and truths of reality
“Lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten”
Experience adds emotion to the information. It adds personalized feedback we won’t forget. You’ve probably read or watched something useful last month that you forgot. Information is forgotten quickly. Wisdom is cherished and valued because there was work involved to obtain it. We don’t value what we don’t work for.
🔑 Allow People to Invest
It’s ok to ask for the sale. It’s ok to sit back a little and let other people do the talking, it’s not ‘boring’. It’s ok for other people to do you favors. Don’t allow old traumas that bruised self worth to ruin today’s experiences. Investing keeps people in an active participant role instead of a spectator. Investing back their fair share for the value you give. If you never receive investments others will value you less, you value yourself less. The emotional bank balances will soon dry up and reach bankruptcy.
🔑 Vulnerability is Strength
Another word often misinterpreted for being a simp, emotionally vomiting his feelings all over the place. But vulnerability is not that. It’s more so the courage to be authentic. Saying how you truly feel. You can beat around the bush awaiting 100% certainty before asking a girl you’re 40% sure is into you out on a date. But that would be weakness. Strength is to ask her out, pull the trigger at 40% certainty. In a ‘vulnerable’ position to get rejected.
But anyone who is strong can take the hits, because they don’t even feel like hits, the ‘hits’ of rejection are child’s play for a man with mental toughness. For a man who does not take life too rigid and seriously. Only the weak whose entire emotional anatomy would be crippled by a rejection fears vulnerability. Timidity is not strength. Coldness and not being open is an illusion of ‘toughness’ it’s actually a coward hiding from rejections and failures. People crave authenticity in a world gradually becoming more superficial
Everyone is trying to look all figured out. But that is not relateable because nobody has life all figured out. Curating how people see you as a way to mask your flaws removes all the relate-ability and connection. Liked by many, loved by nobody.
🔑 The Truth Will Set You Free
When we hold illusions in our mind we live in a prison. Assumptions and judgement hold us chained down. “Ah that’s probably very hard”, “she probably wouldn’t like me”, “if I make content i’ll look like some try hard sleazy salesman”, “rich people are miserable”. These are all assumptions, not based on the feedback of reality but were artificially created in the mind or programmed into you by listening to other people. These are also often traumas from the past. But the past is not the present. Being shy as a kid may have protected you in a abusive household. But the present moment as an adult that is not the truth, it is outdated old programming being projected into present reality.
With societies tendency to look ‘all figured out’ on social media. We only post highlights. There is then this curated avatar, a character we must maintain. Taking different actions, avoiding places, people and things to keep the artificial story-line alive. This is a invisible master you serve, a self inflicted prison. Live in truth. “This is who I am” and there are no more storylines to curate and market. The truth will set you free.
🔑 Seek First the Kingdom and the Other Stuff Will Find You
Actually build a business providing value, and clients seeking that value will come. Not chasing people to work for them when you have no value to offer. Actually building a fun life and people will come seeking you. Not the reverse of chasing other people applying for passports into their kingdom. Actually be about it. With this social media culture we get validation from posting pictures looking like we are about that life.
Looking like we’re so happy and successful. Getting likes which the brain sees and validates that you are successful. This is an illusion and it will rob you of your natural drive to actually achieve success. Don’t artificially satisfy your dopamine (the reward center of the brain). Let the hunger channel into producing and making things happen.
🔑 Point One Finger at Others You’ll See Three Pointing Back at You
Your reality is 75% you, 25% external. What you are reflected back tells a story. The three fingers pointing back at you contain lessons. It’s data from reality as to why this result was reflected back. Why this action lead to that reaction. Sometimes it truly is just 25% random and out of your control weird flukes. But the majority of the time you’re reflected back the truth. “The internal world reflects back in the external world”
🔑 Do Your Best and Forget The Rest
You do your to-do list. You do what you say and say what you mean. Forget what you can’t control.
🔑 Don’t Wait for Permission – “Walk by faith not by Sight”
We are conditioned to wait for permission before feeling good. Waiting for permission before taking action. “can I go to my friends house mom?” Yes = then release good emotions, then action taken. We’d earn good grades and then get approval and good emotions. As adults we don’t need to wait and follow. We can lead. Marketing curates this image of emotions and attaches them to objects. We buy the objects then our brain grants us permission to feel the emotion associated/marketed with it. But that object did nothing for you on a chemical level. It didn’t inject into your body. It served as a placebo emblem to grant yourself permission to feel something. You cant grant yourself permission
You don’t have to wait for a relationship to let loose, feel loved, and have self worth. You don’t need to wait for a huge chunk of cash to feel worthy of money to feel you can contribute value, to feel confident in yourself. Flip the script. But then you must and likely will take the actions to reflect these emotions. When the behavior matches the belief then it is true and not delusion. You don’t need to wait to see to believe. You can believe to lead you to the actions to then see. “Walk by faith not by sight”. Take your present moment action based on who you will be, not by sight, by the past of who you were being. Married to action and behavior it is not delusion but truth. Believe to then see and soon you’ll see what you believed. Waiting to see is a life spent waiting.
You don’t need to wait for the calendar to tell you to celebrate life.
🔑 Abundance Frame vs Lack Frame
“He who does not understand depends on reality, he who does understand reality depends on him”
Your frame is how you interpret reality. Let’s say they are doing construction in my neighborhood and I have to move my car across the street.
I could react and interpret from lack: “This is bullshit, they’re telling me what to do and I have to walk across the street just to get to my house”
I could respond and interpret from abundance: “Sweet finally the jagged sidewalk I sometimes trip on are getting fixed and they’re paving the streets which is great for my new tires. They’re doing all this work for me and I don’t even have to do anything. I also get a bit of exercise walking to my car, it gets the blood flowing which helps me think more clearly”
Another example if I order the highest calorie smoothie at a smoothie place and the guy says “you sure my man I think you’d be better off with the skinny kale detox shake” in a condescending tone
- I could react: “well fuck you too buddy” (aggressive reaction)
- I could react: “really? do you think so? hmm I mean maybe you’re right I should give it a try” (pushover reaction)
- I could respond: “i’ll stick with the banana protein smoothie boss, not trying to drink a salad today”
Reacting is when you’re thrown off center. Reality changes you. Responding is not being thrown off center and responding with the optimal interpretation, in your frame of reality.
Both are true. But which interpretation do you choose. The abundance frame finds the good and opportunity. The lack frame finds the whats wrong. If your frame is abundance you literally see more opportunities, you see why people like you not why they don’t like you, you see potential and take action versus seeing problems and avoiding action.
“How you do anything is how you do everything”, “This moment contains all moments” Interpret reality from abundance in the small areas and it’s reps that develop the habit to interpret reality from a place of abundance in the big areas. Proactive living, not reactive living. Interpreting reality in optimal ways aligned with internal peace and growth.
🔑 You Don’t Rise to The level of Your Goals, You Default to the Level of Your Systems
A quote from James Clear. Motivation, willpower and being crazy inspired won’t cut it. Ultimately your habits and systems are the pre-recorded responses of each little decision you make each day.
🔑 Act on Your Inspirations…..or else
Thing you’re inspired to do show us pathways we’re we can take action toward a goal and grow as a person getting feedback from reality. Especially when you have a great idea. You’re gifted inspiration of the idea. The universe granted you this inspiration because you’re the ideal host to bring this idea to life. You’ll feel resistance and this is the universe testing you, are you worthy of reaping the rewards and are you dedicated to carrying out the creation and sharing this with the world. If you coward away the universe will give that inspiration to someone else, the runner-up behind you and see if they execute. Eventually the thing you wanted to do or create someone else will soon do if you sleep on the opportunity.
In the beginning stages of our journey we can’t yet fully trust our intuition so we will likely need to jump on a lot of wrong ideas before we hit the right ones. These are essential failures in the learning process to develop your awareness, wisdom, and intuition. You’ll learn more about yourself, what you’re good at, what you’re bad at, and how reality works in taking action on your early inspirations. As you grow your intuition and knowing yourself gets more calibrated , you’ll know which inspirations to act on and which are just cool sounding ideas.
🔑 Turn Pro
Amateurs only show up and practice when they feel like it. Waiting for life to give them permission and a coach to tell them when it’s game time and when it’s practice time. In real life we don’t have a coach. So the amateur only shows up to the occasional game and practice when he feels like it. The pro shows up and trains pretty much everyday whether he feels like it or not. Trusting the process. Loving the process. Gratitude for the opportunity.
🔑 This Too Shall Pass – Playing for the Love of The Game
I’ve made embarrassing videos, failed projects people counted on me for, embarrassed myself in dating, looked stupid in public. It always passes. Time is always moving seasons are always changing. Nobody cares as much as you think they do. Everyone’s focused on their own life, stuck in their own heads. It’s all just practice for the big moments. Life is an experiment and the more experiments you make the better.
But this also rings true for success not just failure. Your win from this week, your win from yesterday will pass. Like muscle, use it or lose it. You’re only as good as your last at bat. This is not a burden or a pressure. Because you show up at bat not as a chore or a burden. But you play this game of life for the love of the game. Show up to life, this moment is here, it will pass, play for the love of the game.
“Success does not define the individual, the individual defines success”